Bad Oreos?

jcp-reallyI heard someone say this week that Oreos dipped in white chocolate were voted the worst food for your health.  I did not have a vote in this poll, and I find the results to be pure poppycock.  No matter what criteria you use, I can find something worse like, for instance, puffer fish.  Oreos are not going to make my lips go numb before I’m rushed to the hospital and eventually die no matter what you dip them in.

Let’s break this puppy down and spread some truth to the double stuffed haters out there.  In the category of decadent desserts that have no nutritional value, I’m going with a deep fried Twinkie any day of the week.  You can actually hear your arteries clog as you eat that magnificent creation.  Every time you eat a deep fried Twinkie, your heart sounds an alarm like a WWII aircraft carrier attacked by Kamikaze planes.  Your bicuspid and tricuspid valves start yelling “Incoming!” as they put on tiny heart helmets.  White chocolate covered Oreos can’t match that at all.  They’re not even the worst Oreos for you.  Remember, you can deep fry anything, including white chocolate covered Oreos.

If we expand our definition of food bad for you, lutefisk has to be way up the list as well.  It’s part fish, part soap for goodness sake.  They call it an acquired taste, which you apparently acquire by starvation or brain damage, one of which it can also cause.  Give me Oreos any day.  Dip them in just about anything you want and I’ll still pick them over lutefisk.

You see, puffer fish, deep fried Twinkies, and lutefisk have already bested white chocolate covered Oreos and we haven’t even discussed okra, celery, and beets, which may contain nutritional value but are about as pleasant to eat as week old road kill and sandpaper casserole.

Source: David Swann