Plumbing Supply Stores aka. Water Parks

jcp-reallyAs a parent, you sometimes have to make difficult choices. Take, for instance, convincing my daughter Chuck E. Cheese was an automotive repair shop. That was a difficult choice. Well, actually that one was kinda easy. It was sorta like the whole human survival mechanism kicked in pretty quick there. Most parenting choices are way tougher than that one though, and I am currently facing a choice that could completely alter my daughter’s perception of where happiness is found.

In some sort of paradoxical twist of fate, the problem begins with Chuck E. and his pizza palace of perpetual flashing lights, brain cracking noise, and youthful chaos. This dilemma, and make no mistake, it is a dilemma, comes to a boiling point due to my daughter’s cleanliness and more than mild obsessive compulsive tendencies, which by the way, I absolutely love.

You see, I now possess knowledge, a dangerous knowledge that will clash with my daughter’s sensibilities like oil and water, Sonny and Cher, camouflage and tuxedos. First, let me point out she is now aware of Chuck E.’s true nature. I had to come clean. Next, in a recent conversation about Chuck E., it was pointed out that they have ball pits. I did not know this for obvious reasons. Those of you who already knew this factoid probably wish you could forget it and are wondering why you didn’t call it an automotive shop. At any rate, the conversation turned to ball pits and one young person said that as a toddler they had used the restroom in a ball pit. I will not say where this particular ball pit was located.  This, however disturbing it may be, is not my dilemma. My daughter would turn into Monk at the mere thought of encountering the mystery ball in the pit, but quite frankly, ball pits aren’t her thing, so she’d be really confused and think less of humanity, but get over it. She’s more into water parks, which unfortunately is where the story continues. The same person of ball pit infamy then said they had  “added liquid”  to the water slide. As if this wasn’t bad enough, all the young people nearby scoffed and said, “Everybody does that.” Now if I tell my daughter, the innocence, and false sense of cleanliness, a water park provides is lost, but I felt guilty about Chuck E. I kept my sanity, but I felt guilty. Perhaps I should just be quiet. Perhaps I should throw caution to the wind and come clean, pun absolutely intended. Nah, I’ll tell her water parks have turned into plumbing supply stores.

Source: David Swann