It Does What She Says

Through some luck and a spoiling Mimi, I have found the perfect gift for a wife.  It’s the new Xbox One.  My daughter got one for Christmas, and Prozac filled chocolate caramels couldn’t have a more calming effect on my lovely wife.  Oh, I didn’t notice at first, but the changes are now so very clear.

I must admit that I can be, on rare occasions, a bit of a handful.  My sock issues are well documented and I have been known to get when to listen and when not to listen confused.  We have a daughter in fourth grade.  If you’ve ever met a fourth grader, then you know they listen about as well as your great great uncle when he turns off his hearing aid and their independent streak has been known to cause spontaneous Tourettes.  Then there is our dog, Lily.  You know about Lily.  She digs up gardens, steals cookies, and sits on top of her Mommy, despite being told not to many times.  That brings me to the Xbox One.

For those of you unfamiliar with this new game technology, let me point out the pertinent aspects of this device.  You can attach your cable, TV, DVR, internet, and just about anything else to this device.  Then you can control them all by talking to it.  Now I knew something was up, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until recently.  My wife likes talking to the Xbox.  It always listens.  It always does what it’s told.  And it never talks back or tries to sit on her head, I might add.  She is so happy.  With a contented smile, she says, “Xbox go to Netflix,” “Xbox pause,” “Xbox stop listening.”  When I called her on this, she didn’t even deny it.  She did, however, point out it followed instructions better than anyone else in the house.  I tried to point out I could do that stop listening trick.  For the record men, don’t go down that road.  Just buy the Xbox and keep your mouth shut.