Insulting TV Ads

I am not normally easily offended. You won’t offend me with disparaging comments about my heritage or personal attacks. Calling my mother a hamster and declaring my father smelled of elderberries is more likely to bring a chuckle than irritation. I sail smoothly across the sea of political correctness and derision. My ship does not falter as the north winds drive me to discovery. Oh captain, my captain! Hold on. I have apparently digressed.

The point is I do not get upset easily. However, there is a cable company television ad that makes me livid. Every time I see it, I get as mad as a milk cow of a cold handed farmer. It makes me want to scowl at puppies and completely ignore kittens playing with a ball of yarn. I get as angry as a fat man’s horse every time it comes on. The commercial tries to make hooking up your TV with a competitor sound like quantum physics by quoting a sentence from the competitor’s hook up guide. The problem is that guide has a simple two step process. Any idiot could follow the steps, but this cable company wants me to believe a middle school paragraph is too complicated to read and a two step process too complicated to perform. Grrr. That just makes me mad. If you choose to confine your reading list to books containing the phrase, “See Jane run,” so be it. But don’t try to convince everyone else Dr. Seuss is War and Peace or Legos require a master’s degree in structural engineering. When the day comes that a simple paragraph is too hard to read and a two step process is two steps too many, it is time for society to turn off the TV and try reading a book without pictures. Or perhaps just go stand behind that mad cow when the cold handed farmer grabs an udder.