Bass Pro and In-Laws

Really 300xLife is often bizarre, funny, and humbling. This weekend, it hit all three like Babe Ruth after his 12th hot dog, which, for the record, were made of some pretty gruesome things back when the Babe was eating them. I don’t know what that has to do with anything, but I made it through the weekend, so yay for me! Just deal with it. You’ll understand my exhausted euphoria in a minute.

Let’s start with the bizarre. I went to that huge fishing slash camping slash hunting slash everything you need to redden your neck and enjoy NASCAR shop. Yes, I was amazed at the number of people who appeared to have escaped the psych ward in whatever county Deliverance was filmed. Yes, I was surprised I could buy salt and vinegar pork rinds directly from the lady who was cooking them in the parking lot, which in truth was very tempting. Don’t judge me. It’s better than what was in the Babe’s hot dog. Yes, I stood in the fishing lure section, college diploma in hand, drastically more confused than the guy with three teeth dressed in camo sweat pants and a homemade misspelled NRA t-shirt. But none of those truths made it so strikingly bizarre. Perhaps a bit embarrassing for me, but not what was so bizarre. I even saw a guy using a neck tie as a sling. Nope. Not that either. The bizarre thing was that I enjoyed it. That brings me, in an upside-down sort of way, to point number two.

This weekend was funny, depending on your perspective. My in-laws were in town. That’s funny, right? You’re either laughing hysterically, in which case you should examine your soul for that infinitesimal speck of compassion you may still possess, or you feel my pain more than Bill Clinton. Ah, who am I kidding? Even ole Bill gets a kick out of these sorts of things. I said it was funny. I never said it was me laughing.

Laughing and me brings me to the third part of the weekend. Humility. I saw an adorable old man leave a restaurant with his napkin firmly tucked into his pants. It was cute. It was mildly pathetic in that “Bless his heart” sort of way. And it was supposed to be funny. However, before I could laugh or even crack a smile, my wife chuckled and said, “That’s you in a few years.” My daughter agreed. My in-laws just shook their heads in disdain. Humility.

 

Source: David Swann