Self-Esteem

Self-esteem has been defined as a term used to reflect one’s overall evaluation of his/her own worth. It is a collection of feelings, both good and bad, that we believe ourselves to be. Good self-esteem makes a good parent, successful employee, and basically a happy life. It gets us through stressful times, cushions our falls, picks us up and lets us start again and never lets us down. Good self-esteem is imperative to a fulfilling life. Your child requires good self-esteem to cope with the everyday stresses in the world.

Back-to-school stress, playground stress, academic stress and growing up stress, can be lightened, if you teach your child to have good self-esteem. Teaching this will help shield against “bullies”. If your child has low self-esteem, challenges will be a source of major anxiety and frustration. Children who think negatively of themselves, have a hard time finding solutions to problems. Give your child an armor of good self-esteem. Listed are three very important steps to achieve this goal.

1. Establish your own positive self-esteem. “Self-talk” is a great way to start. This involves giving yourself positive statements on a daily basis. Evaluate the things that make you feel bad about yourself. For example, if you think you are not attractive, say, “I am pretty/handsome. I have pretty hair. I have pretty nails, etc.” If you consider yourself to be less than smart, say, “I am smart.” Somewhere in your past, someone convinced you negative statements were true statements. Now, you must undo the damage. You must decide, they are not true. Beauty and wisdom come from within, and believing in yourself, creates the inner you.

2. Believe in your child. It’s OK to brag, just be sure to let your child hear you doing it (enlist grandparents as well). The term, “self-fulfilling prophecy,” refers to the idea that if you tell your child he/she can’t do something, the child probably will not. If you tell your child he/she can do anything, the child probably will. And, if your child hears it enough, he/she will become what is heard. Remember, children are good (not bad), smart (not dumb), just right (not fat, short, too tall) and helpful (not lazy). Don’t forget, you create with your words, so create the best.

3. You must allow your child to be independent. A toddler will practice a skill over and over again. Upon reaching the milestone, the sense of accomplishment becomes the building blocks of self-esteem. The concept of success, following persistence, continues throughout childhood. Let your child try and fail, try again, fail again, and then finally succeed. Don’t jump in too quickly, and don’t shelter him/her from trying, for fear of failure. Be helpful… be encouraging… allow independence. Healthy self-esteem comes from just the right balance.
Start building self-esteem in early childhood. Empower your child with a tough armor of self-esteem. Resist using negative words. Create an arsenal of positive words and phrases. Give him/her home responsibilities, and expect some self-reliance. Continue this throughout your child’s lifetime, and you will have given the gift, that will sustain your child in stressful times.