I am a Unicorn

Really 300xHave you noticed how absurd the world has become? People make up whatever they want to serve their twisted agenda and expect the rest of us to just believe it’s true and happily, unconditionally accept it. When did our world become so bizarre? Is this some sort of psychosis derived from political correctness? It seems truth and common sense are as rare as a catfish with pneumonia.

Just today, I turned on the news and learned about a disturbing case of “work place violence”. An Oklahoma Islamic fundamentalist with terrorist images and propaganda on his electronic devices tried to convert his coworkers, then beheaded one. Yes, he beheaded a coworker. Typically, when I think of work place violence, images of a slap fight over the last cup of coffee come to mind, not beheadings. I admit at times in my own work place, I have questioned the value of some of the heads, but since I’m not really into coffee, I have the luxury of not having to stay around and listen to them. And while I pity those who have to wait for a refill and hear every complaint imaginable by people who couldn’t be happy eating a double chocolate brownie filled with Prozac on the beach as beautiful people massage their feet and dolphins perform an aquatic version of Thriller as the sun sets on the horizon, I do not condone beheadings. I have mixed feelings about slapping them, but that’s for another day. My point is the type of behavior exhibited in that tragic Oklahoma event sounds nothing like “work place violence”. Telling me it is instead of admitting it’s terrorism is dishonest and disrespectful to the public at large, the victims, and their grieving families.

To point out the absurdity of these types of situations, I am making my own declaration. From now on, I am a unicorn. True, I don’t look like a unicorn or act like a unicorn. It’s true that unicorns don’t even exist. Then again, the truth is no longer important. All that matters is my agenda, which just so happens to be entirely unicorn based, and my unabashed assertion no matter how wrong it may be. In essence, I am a unicorn because I say so. Now you shall do my unicorn bidding. (Insert your own diabolical unicorn laugh at this point and your conversion to the dark side will be complete.)

Source: David Swann