Horror Movie Lessons

Really 300xI’ve been trying to find a horror movie appropriate for my ten year old daughter, and after considering every slasher film known to man, two things have become perfectly clear. First, there are no slasher films appropriate for my ten year old. Second, this is the perfect genre to introduce as she becomes a teenager. It turns out that slasher films promote solid family values, once you get past the copious amounts of blood and gratuitous violence.

Consider the facts. If you go parking with a boy, then you get impaled on a shovel. Exhibiting poor judgment by removing your clothes in a public location will not only draw the ire of your father, it will lead to a close encounter with a chainsaw. And the coup de grace is promiscuity. Nobody survives that. The heck with a birds and bees talk. I’m just going to show her Friday the 13th, Parts 1 through 8, and be done. Parenting by fear of a knife wielding maniac in a hockey mask passing moral judgment on teenage hormonal mistakes. Eat your heart out, Dr. Spock, but hurry before Freddy Krueger eats it first.

Source: David Swann