A Dream of “What?”

Really 300xI had a dream James Taylor was rapping “Deflate Cha” while John Kerry hugged and kissed Tom Brady at a press conference. Hillary Clinton then proceeded to wash out James Taylor’s mouth with soap made by Martha Stewart. This to me seemed appropriate because that is not the kind of song nice folk singers should perform, and the language as well as subject matter offended. At some point, I plugged my ears with my fingers, blushing as I guffawed. Brady, however, began to put his hands up and pretend to raise the roof. He was saying something I couldn’t hear because my ears were stuffed with my digits, but whatever it was caused Peyton Manning to ride in on a white bronco named O.J. Simpson and smack Brady across the face. I laughed. The horse tried on a pair of gloves then stole a deflated football signed by Tom from Secretary Kerry. Security shot him and Martha Stewart made glue, which Brady proceeded to spread all over his hands for better grip.

That’s when I think I woke up. However, I found Bill Belichick was giving a dissertation on sports TV about physics and atmospheric science. Once I determined I was awake, I promptly went back to sleep and asked Peyton to slap him as well. The dream ended as Martha contemplated whether to make the coach into a super inflated Thanksgiving Day float. Now, that’s a good thing.

Source: David Swann