Easter is Confusing

Easter is right around the bend, and I have to admit the secular celebration of this holiday befuddles my sensibilities. Religiously, and I think we can all agree spirituality is the entire point of Easter, it not only makes perfect sense, but also is, in my humble opinion, both glorious and moving. It is not sunrise service or a cross born willingly that are confusing. “He is risen” is easily understandable and liberating. No, it’s the giant egg-wielding bunny that shakes my sanity tree.

Am I the only one who finds that thing completely terrifying? It’s like a bad seventies disco night experience, and I’m relatively certain a ‘bad trip’ is not in line with the spirit of the holiday. Who came up with this idea, the patients chasing invisible eagle sized butterflies dropping marshmallow atomic bombs that explode in rainbows? I feel certain the Easter bunny creator also concocted Captain Kangaroo, a creepy, creepy idea, and promoted clowns as entertainment, purposefully exceeding their intended scope as central figures in a very bad nightmare.

The Easter bunny concept doesn’t just leave me feeling as if I’ve recently awaken from anesthesia administered during elective surgery or accidentally walked into a Twilight Zone episode written by the bearded lady and directed by Timmy the Amazing Carp Boy shot at a mid-century carnival. It also leaves me genuinely conflicted. My first inclination is to put buckshot into a giant rabbit breaking into my house or hanging out on my porch. This somehow seems wrong, especially given the nature of the holiday. Color me, like the tie dyed eggs a giant bunny rabbit with big, nasty teeth is inexplicably trying to leave on my lawn, completely confused.