Time Disappearing

I’m not going to mince words here, so I’ll come straight out and say it. I suspect these weekends are getting shorter. I’m not an astronomer, or a Time Lord, or from Switzerland or anything, but I’m pretty sure time is being suspiciously removed. I don’t know why this would be done or who is behind the nefarious scheme, but you can definitely put a tally mark in the irritated column for me. Perhaps NASA is trying to shift attention from a “moon landing” or abbreviating weekends was in the fine print of Obamacare around about page 5,468,273,420 paragraph Q.

The thievery, which I suspect is more like hours than minutes, could be part of an elaborate alien plan to reduce leisure activities that could result in an upward gaze, or a black bear conspiracy to reclaim national parks from picnickers. The point is, I don’t know who is responsible, but I’ll wear a tinfoil hat and hang out on a grassy knoll for two more hours on a lazy Saturday afternoon. And rest assured, if aliens turn out to be the culprits, I’ll ask for exactly that the very moment they take me to their leader, because you know they’re picking the guy in the tinfoil hat.