Emoticons are Awesome

Every now and then, I feel comfortable making a blanket statement about our humble existence here on planet Earth. If I may be so bold, I have discovered another certainty. Emoticons are fabulous. There. It’s out for the world to know. A smirking, yellow face with sunglasses transcends normal conversation. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words, or seventy choppy characters.

Now, the irony is that I should by all rights be the last person on Earth to discover this truth. There are cannibals in the Amazon who have been quicker to adopt the trappings of modern communication. Until recently, Napoleon had sent as many texts as I had, and I’m fairly certain Nikola Tesla had me beat, if anyone can ever decipher his notes. For the record, a frowny face and magnifying glass emoticon would go well right here. Maybe a shock face since Tesla’s notes are probably in a government warehouse next to the Ark and some crystal skulls.

For a while, I carried a flip phone and then no phone for over three years. Let me give you a second to get up off the floor. Yes, it has been several years since I carried a phone. Now I have one with a plethora of informational emoticons. Hashtag awesome smiley face. That’s tech talk. Go ahead. Say it with a picture. It’s liberating, enlightening, and you don’t have to tap as many of those tiny letters on the screen.