Cow Psychology

Really 300xI’ve always been a little curious about cow psychology. Take, for instance, the cowbell. Now, I’m not referencing the dinner cowbell which is, of course, purely Pavlovian. I mean a bell hanging around the lead cow’s neck. Is this so called bell cow popular because they have a bell or do they have a bell because they are popular? This is another chicken and the egg conundrum. Perhaps cows really like bling. Maybe they are just irresistibly drawn to gaudy over-the-top attention grabbing accessories. They do apparently appreciate a nose ring, after all. What if they just enjoy the aesthetic value of rhinestone or pink feather boa? The whole bell cow phenomenon could have nothing at all to do with the popularity of that particular cow and center entirely on envy, kind of like all the women in the office following around the newly engaged lady in accounting so they can figure out how much her diamond cost, tell her how pretty it looks, then talk about how it’s too big and tacky when she leaves.

I’d also like to know whether cows watch the grass grow. If so, do they consider it boring or does it make them hungry?

And what about those Chick-fil-A commercials with the sign carrying cows? I’m pretty sure those aren’t real cows, and I wonder how the real ones feel about the portrayal. Do they consider it flattering or some sort of demeaning stereotype as if all cows do is walk around with signs trying to convince people to eat chicken? And then I worry that if I ask one to hold up a sign telling me how they feel about the topic that I’m being entirely insensitive and feeding the stereotype. This makes no sense given the fact that I eat cows, so their feelings are not high on my list and they are likely to be more upset about the fact that I ingest them than whether I add to a sign carrying stereotype.

Sigh. Cow psychology is complicated.

Source: David Swann