Harry Potter Rejects

Here are a few rejected Harry Potter spells for your consideration.

Junioratus Highus. This spell causes the spontaneous recitation of the Declaration of Independence or the Periodic Table if cast by someone with thick bottle glasses.

Reason rejected – excessive cruelty.

Leviticus Achoo. A diabolical spell that causes the recipient to sneeze ancient scrolls out both nostrils.

Reason rejected – it only works when performed in a library, and no one goes to a library any more.

Bloaticus Nonfatis. This little charm causes its victim to spontaneously volunteer that they are just bloated, not fat.

Reason rejected – one of the witches on the Spell Council was bloated.

Belch Begone. A seemingly useful spell to stop burps.

Reason rejected – a nasty side effect concerning the rerouting of the gas and an intensification of its stench. (Side note: This spell caused the creation of a highly effective charm which restores peeled paint and resuscitates the unconscious.)

Forgetus Momentus. Causes everyone in the room, including the user, to forget the last minute.

Reason rejected – no one remembers, though it may have something to do with peanut butter.

Opie Andandy. This devilish spell causes the uncontrollable desire to whistle the theme from The Andy Griffith Show.

Reason rejected – caused as much harm to the caster as the recipient.

Felis Indomesticus. This spell causes an owner’s cat to ignore them until the most inconvenient moment then jump on their lap or scratch them for attention.

Reason rejected – cats already do this on their own. A similar spell causing dogs to bark out the window at squirrels was rejected for the same reason.