Purple Snails

What’s up with the word purple? Come on, admit it. That is a weird word. Say it ten times in a row and tell me you don’t feel like a gelatinous blob speaking some obscure alien dialect or even that your sense of reality might be slipping ever so slowly away.

I can see it now. Slimy snail invaders from the planet Purple invade Earth in their spiral cone ships. As they scoot across the planet devouring human life, a sticky violet trail appears in their wake as they utter “purple . . . purple . . .” over and over, which in their language means, “Consume the two footed pig.” That’s how I imagine the word purple came into existence.

Consider my surprise when I learned the actual origin of the word purple. It comes from the Greek word porphura, referring to Tyrian purple dye. And where does Tyrian purple dye come from? The spiny dye murex snail. Coincidence? I think not. We are all doomed.