Barktillmymommaseyespopout

It’s time for another installment of the dog versus wife chronicles.  For those of you new to this blood sport, the dog is winning.  I could explain more, but the mere mention of these canine victories around our house is strictly forbidden.  In fact, I’m taking quite a chance relaying the most recent development.  Throwing caution to the wind, here I go.

Lily is either a very clever dog with a bit of a quirky, mischievous personality or she is an alien, perhaps from the planet Barktillmymommaseyespopout, with a master plan to merge her physical form with ours and take over our bodies.  Should the latter be the case, I must admit I’m forced to conclude her purpose may indeed be nefarious.  I, however, think she is just a quirky, mischievous dog.  Her mother is a bit more skeptical about Lily’s intent and, I suspect, Earthly origin.  Let me explain why my wife is ready to DNA test the dog, and you decide if she is overreacting.

Lily likes to sit on my wife.  While that sounds innocent enough, I have to agree this behavior is a bit odd.  When I say sit on, I mean on top of her lap, chest, and sometimes even her head.  It’s as if she is trying to occupy the same space my wife occupies.  She will even press her head into her mother’s, like she’s trying to push right into her mind.  This seems to be working.  At first, my wife was irritated.  Now, she looks at the dog and truly contemplates the possibility Lily is a body snatcher.  This is either nearly checkmate for the dog versus human, a precursor to something you’ll soon read about in the National Enquirer, or a prelude to a historic human comeback.  As much as I’ve enjoyed wife-doggy showdown, I’m pulling for the wife making a comeback.  The dog is getting the big head, and it’s pressing on my face.