Memorial Day Civil War Mourning Tradition

Caroline Graham Swann

Memorial Day is a time honoring our fallen soldiers for their dedication to give the greatest sacrifice, their lives, for our country. For some, this distinguished day is also a time to reflect and remember the loss of loved ones.

Customs for mourning during the Civil War era have been described as an art form in bereavement. Since the 1600s black was worn for mourning but in the middle 1800s a change took place that placed great emphasis on mourning: books were actually written on the proper form of morning.

Most of the departed would lie in an open coffin at home for proper respect and viewing. Mirrors were covered with black cloth and clocks were stopped at the hour of death. A popular superstition dictated that the body had to be carried out feet first or the body could look back and beckon others to follow it into death.

Social decorum demanded that family members adjust their behavior and dress for years to come after the death of a loved one. Prince Albert died in 1861 and Queen Victoria began to mourn with such rigid sadness that it affected both sides of the ocean. American society followed her pattern of mourning for their departed.

The American Civil War also began in 1861 and plagued almost all families in the North and South with death on a massive scale. Hundred of thousands of sons, husbands, sweethearts, uncles, nephews, cousins, and friends were slain in battle, resulting in one of the bloodiest and most traumatic wars of all time. Suffering and sadness swept the whole United States, and even other countries came to support the side of their belief.

Black clothing clouded every community as it was the custom to mourn: even underwear, gloves, and parasols were dyed black. Attire for mourning became the first outfit ready to wear off the rack, and almost all clothing had been made at home or a private dressmaker or tailor before this bloody war began. As the war waged on and on most became so poor that clothes had to be dyed at home in huge pots outside. The dye had a pungent odor, and this smell permeated the air in almost every heavily populated residential area. All of the clothes reeked of this unpleasant scent. A veil was often worn when a lady went out onto the streets. It was intended to shield the face of a lady from others, so they did not see her constant tears of sadness. Another superstition during this time was that departed spirits hover around loved ones, and if a passerby looked directly into the face of the bereaved that spirit might attach to the onlooker. The veil was worn to protect not only the dignity of the woman, but also to protect others.

Women wore a mourning gown almost constantly. The front of the bodice was designed with tiny pleats, a high neck line, long black sleeves, and a full heavy skirt. These gowns became a cultural symbol of the times. I donated my great-grandmother’s mourning gown to the East Tennessee Historical Museum in Knoxville, Tennessee in the name of the whole family.

People during this time were filled with the primal fear of being buried alive, so even as the departed were laid to rest there was constant concern for them. Thus, a coffin alarm was invented. A chain was attached to a stone with a bell, and the chain trailed down into the coffin so it could be rung in case of being buried alive. It is said that Mrs. Lincoln (of our former president, Abraham Lincoln), feared being buried alive so much she insisted her coffin not to have the screws put in for two days after her death.

The customs of this Civil War era were indeed interesting and the suffering of such loss breaks one’s heart for the grief that gripped our entire country. May peace begin to reign for the world and each of us do our part, no matter how small it may seem. During my time on the Communications Council Advisory Board of the United Nations, NGO, I realized it must begin with each individual.

Find joy and happiness this day in the company of your loved ones, and our deepest gratitude to America’s heroes, and the fallen soldiers of every war waged for freedom