Infomercials Are Horrifying

Normally, I enjoy spending some quality time with an infomercial or the shopping network. In fact, one day I’m going to purchase a really cool vacuum cleaner, despite no interest in vacuuming, or attend a seminar on how to buy real estate with absolutely no money down. No money down. That’s as mysterious as the Oak Island money pit or the source of Dick Clark’s longevity, which for the record, I attributed to vampirism though I never ruled out a deal at the Crossroads.

Truthfully, I usually find myself quite entertained by most commercial sales pitches. Those blender presentations, for example, are fabulous. But I have a line, and it has been crossed. I don’t want to see anybody, even an attractive young woman, shave dead skin off the bottom of her feet. I’m sure the dead foot skin shaver is a useful product, but some discretion in advertising is in order. That is all I have to say. Nobody needs to witness a pile of dead skin powder collect. Nobody. Though it would be a good time to use a 400 horsepower typhoon vacuum cleaner. Hmmm, perhaps if I bought my wife a foot shaver, then it would finally be time for an easy three pay investment in suction. I wonder if I can get that with no money down.