What’s Best for Them

editorial-logo3As parents, we are always trying to do what is best for our kids, whether it be a little or a lot. From which school to attend, to bedtime routines, we are always conscious of what is best for our children. Heck, there are even some who are worried about their kids while they are at school. Who is picking on who, did they eat their lunch completely, or did they brush their teeth before going to school?

I have found, however, that when it comes to sports, we, as parents, are more worried about us than them. Gone are the days of just doing the best you possibly can and making your parents proud. Gone are the days when every single player on the team gets to play regardless of age, even though we say our job is to teach them to work together and that it is just for fun. Also gone are the days of the “good guys”: we parents/coaches are more interested in winning and in overall toughness, rather than building character and work ethic in our children.

Nowadays, we also believe that if our son/daughter does not play the position we expect them to play, that the coach obviously doesn’t have a clue what he/she is doing. After all, we know what is best for our children right? It doesn’t matter if our children are better at a different position that would help the team out in the best way possible, the coach has to go because “they have no clue.” Although we work with our kids, we have to realize and accept that there are some players simply more gifted in a particular area than ours.

Gone too are the days of trusting coaches to do what is best for our kids. If our kid doesn’t start by his or her sophomore year in high school, we will just up and move, or spread our displeasure with everyone around us in the stands. Then again, we know our kids are the absolute best, right?

You see, my only gripe with all of this is that it is simply not fair to anyone involved. It is not fair to the coach who has dedicated hours upon hours to your son or daughter’s team, away from his or her own family and kids, to try and better your child as an athlete and as a person. It is not fair to the administration or directors who have seen these people fit to teach your child the fundamentals of life. It is also not fair to those who do not know you, your child, or the coaches involved for having to listen to your pity party about why your all-star child is not playing. And lastly, It is not fair to your child, because they will look to you, the parents, and mimic your attitude towards the coach, teammates, opponents, and themselves. Ultimately, your child will not perform to their full ability on the field or in life with such anger and disgust.

My point is this, are we as parents doing what is best for our beloved children when we do not support their effort, their coaches, their team, their community? We eat our own in Jefferson County and I have no clue why that it is, but the next time you speak about your displeasure to someone, ask yourself this – What is best for my child?

Source: Mike Stanley, Jefferson County Post Sports - Guest Editorialist