A Lily Snack

My dog, Lily, has recently started calling the neighbor boy “snack.” I sat down and had a serious conversation with her about how inappropriate it is to refer to him that way. It didn’t go very well.

“Lily,” I said. “It’s completely inappropriate to call that boy ‘snack’.”

“You have snacks, don’t you, Daddy?” she replied.

“Yes,” I honestly answered.

“Then why can’t I have a snack?”

“That’s not the point, Lily,” I told her.

She said, “Oh, I see, but I’m pretty sure you’re wrong, Daddy. A snack is a small bit of food, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“And when you have a snack, you’re happy afterward, aren’t you?”

“Well, yes,” I answered.

“Then I’m pretty sure I used the word appropriately,” she stated matter-of-factly.

Alas, dogs and their inability to understand the nuance of language. Let’s just hope the neighbor has a better grasp of the “Beware of the Dog” sign.