Canadian Math

If you pay close attention to your world, you’ll see some very interesting signs, and some are very confusing.  One of my favorites is “slow children at play.”  I don’t quite know how to take this sign.  Is it a cavalier attitude toward the safety and welfare of fast children?  Perhaps it represents misguided belief that quick children can effectively avoid traffic.  Maybe it’s a statement about the intellect of residents in that particular vicinity.  Confusing.

Another one that throws me is “congested area.”  I always feel like I should get stuffy when I drive by that one.  I don’t know whether I’m about to pick up a cough or if it’s a highly localized effect.  Maybe, just maybe, I should feel sorry for the people that live there because they suffer from the symptoms of a perpetual cold.  Again, confusing.

Now I’ve found a new perplexing sign, though this one goes in a completely different, and unexpected, direction.  I was reading the fine print of a store lottery sign, because I do that sort of thing, and it said, “Canadian residents must answer a mathematical skill question correctly to receive prize.”  Which was a million dollars in this case.  To be clear, I think this sign is saying dumb Americans can win, but dumb Canadians are pretty much unworthy on account of them being both Canadian and dumb.  This store was willing to tolerate one or the other, but clearly drew the line at Canadian and stupid.  I think this also means illiterate Canadians are in the clear as long as they can sign their X and do some basic math.  I suspect this is less a reprieve for the Canadians and more a way for that particular store to taunt them considering the illiterate ones can’t read the sign and will therefore clearly fail to study their math, thus disqualifying them.

Now, I don’t know if this has any moral.  Maybe it is a social commentary on high taxes.  Maybe it is a message not to follow Canada’s health care system.  Whoops.  Maybe the store hates hockey because it glorifies violence.  Maybe Canadians just irritate them.  I really don’t know.  What I do know is on one side of Niagara Falls, ⅓ + ⅛ is a fraction of your winnings.  On the other side, it’s a lot more.