Don’t Feed it to the Dog

After spending the day at my mother’s house, nestled cozy next to her dog in way too imminent nasal proximity, I offer this holiday tidbit. Please, for the love of all that is right in this world, do not let your dog ingest the remnants of a fine seasoned meal. It may begin as delicious turkey, glorious honey baked ham or mouth-watering oyster soufflé, but it does not end that way. Eyes will water and noses melt from the poorly digested outcome. The unsuspecting dog’s self-esteem will falter as they realize how quickly they are ostracized and frustration or even abject fear sets in as they begin to understand all efforts to escape their own hind quarters are futile.

Just don’t do it. Throw that food away, compost, feed it to the raccoons (as long as you don’t intend to stay in the same room with them), anything but feed it to the dog. Olfactory nerves will be permanently affected. Wake up and smell the roses while you still can. Consider yourself warned.

This message has been brought to you by the Committee for Nasal Preservation reminding you that when there is something rotten in Denmark, don’t let your dog eat it.